What is a healthy relationship? If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, answering that question will be hard. "You don't know, what you don't know." Sounds confusing doesn't it? The truth of the matter is, it is confusing. If you have not had a healthy relationship demonstrated to you on a fairly regular basis, then it would be hard to recognize one if you saw one or if you were encouraged to be in one. Your first tendency would be to back away because you would be entering uncharted water. It feels uncomfortable. That is why it is said that you attract what you are. If your cup is half full, you will attract someone else whose cup is half full. Is that what you want? Very rarely will you see a healthy person who wants to become involved with an emotionally unhealthy person.
Healthy relationships depend on two people being whole. This is where some people go wrong in choosing to be in a relationship too early. They choose to get involved so that their mate can make them feel whole rather than doing the work it entails to feel whole and to love themselves first before they get involved with anyone else. Healthy relationships require both people to have healthy boundaries. Someone who demonstrates healthy boundaries can make you feel extremely uncomfortable if you have not had them demonstrated to you in a positive and nurturing way in your past.
When we learn to take care of ourselves by setting boundaries, we in turn are teaching others around us how to treat us. They, in turn, will learn how to take care of themselves and set positive and nurturing boundaries for themselves.
So, how do you know how healthy you are? Take a look at your friends and the people you have chosen to be around. There just might be a correlation between who you are involved with and how emotionally healthy you are at this time.
Just sayin'
